In recent years it has become very apparent, that many of the young generation of our day have a different belief system. With it, there has been a change in many behavioral issues, attitude, entitlements, lack of motivation or desire to progress. We can actually see these people as zombies, walking around with media devices, things in their ears, sitting socially awkward in front of a computer, or gaming system to disconnect from responsibilities and surroundings. The thought of taking some time to ponder on life, goals, God, and passions makes them cringe because of the effort it would take. It’s easier to be entertained.
Many families are affected by this society and many children of these families are taking advantage of the system. That system is called love. We as a family try to govern our home to help our loved ones, but many times our love, patience, trust, standards and respect are betrayed by the ungrateful and self-absorbed. We are being tested by these individuals and many times downright played.
This can be corrected and avoided the same, and that is with discipline and follow through. I remember an experience I had with a friend and how his parents decided to help him grow.
After high school, a friend of mine didn’t have much of a direction and while he was at home, he didn’t respect his parents, didn’t do his share, and pretty much drained all the energy from the household. He didn’t want to go to school, didn’t want to work, or serve a religious mission that was common in his church. They were quite tired of him. He was pretty much a huge anchor to the growth and spirit of the family.
His parents knew that he was dependent on them, and kicking him out to the street wasn’t something that they felt comfortable with. So they came up with a different idea. A way that could show love but accountability as well. They decided to rent him a room down by the college campus with 5 other roommates. He was allowed quick visits at his home but he had to live and sleep at his apartment. He had a small old pickup truck that his parents gave him and with a little bit of gas and food money, they sent him on his way.
I would often go down to the campus to see my friend, and throughout that semester I witnessed a transformation! There is something about social pressures that keep us on the ball, in check, and a desire to look good, to maintain our image. He learned a lot about doing his fair share, not just taking his share!
He had to help out his roommates with chores around the apartment or they’d get on his case.
He knew that certain things weren’t going to be done for him, so he did them.
His roommates were always reminding him to stop doing little things that bugged them.
He learned to get along with people and share.
Rules were enforced by roommates and apartment managers, so no slacking.
He had to budget his weekly allowance.
Do his own laundry.
He started going to church with roommates.
He went out a lot with roommates and friends to uplifting activities in a college town.
And many other things!
By the end of the 3 months, he was actually a WAY better human being. He was more respectful about his surroundings and a better friend. Since he was around a lot of people who were going to school, had jobs, had goals, direction, and dreams, he ended up getting an itch to learn new things. He made a lot of good friends and influences! It basically got him out of his limited mind set, and he started to have more confidence to take care of himself and drive for success.
“A body in motion, stays in motion”, (Even if you have to force it at first!) After that semester his parents made a new budget with rent, gas, etc. He was forced to get a job to make up the difference and over time he was independent. The entitlement, attitude, laziness, etc, were gone and he was transformed into a producer not a consumer.
I think that really helped him take a big step in being more responsible and becoming a better person. It open his eyes up to his actions and behavior. I think he was quite oblivious to that before. He got along better with his parents after that, and his parents got results they’d hope for.
Sometimes the “family government” can’t fix the issues in someone’s life. Sometimes it just takes the government to get out of the individual’s way and allow the “Market” or ”Social Pressure” to straighten or correct a behavior that the family government couldn’t control or improve.